After witnessing a number of strange events-Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch Edwart saves her from a flying snowball -Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.Īnd thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon's hilarious send-up of Twilight. Second, there was a vampire part of him-which I assumed was wildly out of his control-that wanted me dead. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. About three things I was absolutely certain.
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